The mask I wear

Today I wore my mask to work. After a restless nights sleep, I awoke under a cloud. Not a stay under the blanket cloud but a day where I would prefer not to have contact with people.

Unfortunately, today was a work day. My job is customer service and I was working today at a high-volume location. Not ideal when I didn’t really want to interact with humans.

I had no choice today, I had to go to work. My paid sick leave is very low and I didn’t want to sacrifice income for a day off. I headed off to work.

I got to work and put the mask on. The mask where I have a perpetual half smile on my face. My eyes would be a giveaway to someone close but my customers don’t know me, so the mouth smile had to do the job.

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Today won’t go down as one of my best days of customer service. My interactions were pleasant but I can’t say I was as proactive and alert to the customers needs as usual. Regardless, I got through the shift, feeling somewhat drained.

Days like this happen. I wear the mask that I need to wear to allow me to function at work. I’m certain this is not particular to someone with mental health issues and that almost everyone has to put a mask on at work when they have problems in their life or just wake on the wrong side of the bed.

Sometimes, the saying ‘fake it til you make it’ applies and by constantly trying to happy and upbeat, you start to feel that way and the smile becomes natural.

Today wasn’t one of those days for me.

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